I crave a serene quiet which I imagine to be a peaceful expression of self. To find this quiet, I must take a deep dive into my own thoughts and fears to learn to sit and do nothing.

Sitting in silence in search of calmness. A metaphor: the water in a lake becomes unsettled, creating ripples and waves. You cannot settle the waters by trying to iron out the waves with your hands. If you want the water to return to its natural, calm state, you must simply do nothing. It will settle on its own accord.

The loneliness, feeling unlovable – are moving forces that create unsettled waters. There are also distractions, most of which are found in technology, that cause me to feel unease.

I have been using sites like Netflix, NBA, and Instagram to cure boredom and loneliness for as long as I can remember. But yesterday, I decided to remove myself from social media to experience life without these distractions. Doubt appears.

Can I give all of this up? Will I be able to find peace in the quiet hours of a Gulfport night?

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