going deeper

When we sit and waste the hours away, I think it’s such a fools game. Life seemingly slips right through our fingers, and we barely question why or how? So, it becomes a real challenge to remain intentional about how time is spent, or what is prioritized. 

I know that swimming is important to me. Now, it speaks to me and delivers confidence because I am pushing new limits and discovering the fun of it for myself. There is no pressure to swim anymore. There are no competitions. I show up if I want to, and I show up for however long I want to. I have intentions for swimming. 

Today, I only wanted to swim a 250 yard distance in the afternoon. I did it, and then I did it again. I followed that with two 200 yard swims. These long swims felt good, and I realized something – that when I focus on something, and breathe, and let go of the expectation or outcome, I can be successful at it. It felt great. It felt like time well spent. 

Pretty much anything that I do, that I have planned for myself is time well spent. I strive to cultivate this intentionality across all aspects of my life, especially when it comes to reading and writing. Recently, I have been reading portions of a book that I may buy for myself, but I have also been bouncing around between different books. Reading opens new creative pathways for me, and I enjoy reading George Tannenbaum’s blog as well. 

George mentioned the importance of consistency with a thing such as writing. That there are times when your writing flows like rivers, and it is so beautiful, accessible, intricate, and there are times when it is not so. But it’s not about writing beautifully all of the time, it’s only about writing all of the time. In this way, you tilt the odds in your favor that you may one day write something worth reading. 

Anyway, with reading, with swimming, with writing, I have showed up. I have taken whatever has been given to me when I show up. Sometimes I read and become lost in a book, and other days I get through one or two pages before I shut down the kindle and turn in to bed. With writing, sometimes I’ll write 1,000 words about whatever has been going on in my mind. Sometimes I’ll write a poem, or several. Sometimes it’s just a recap of my week. And with swimming, we see the whole gamut. I could swim 4×25’s or 200’s like today. I could care less as long as I am showing up to the pool.

And do you know what I realized? More important than what I am doing is that other things matter to me very little now. How much I lift is inconsequential. I don’t care about basketball, or youtube, or Netflix. I care that I can show up to the things that matter. 

Change is slow. It’s very gradual. It requires a lot of patience. But the patience needed is just as much with the process, as it is with the results. Results DO NOT matter! A phrase that should be etched into every thing we see. In a world that praises championship culture, there is something far more valuable underneath the surface. But you have to dig deep inside of you to discover it. Results do not matter. Impressing others does not matter. 

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