tio double t

I am a little lost at the moment. I feel myself slipping away in certain areas, running behind the clock, so to say. 

I was supposed to set my intentions for the month of July, and I was supposed to clean my room, my inbox, my mental and digital space. But instead, I lagged. I chose to relax and gave my time to other people, other activities. 

It’s hard to keep the main thing, the main thing. I set intentions for each month for a reason, free-will is a dangerous thing. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t do most things that are good for me. As in today. I played basketball until I literally couldn’t anymore. Simply walking to pick up the ball felt like a chore. Then everything else that followed in the day felt difficult, showering, brushing my teeth, folding my clothes, drinking water, checking and responding to emails, making phone calls, writing in my blog. 

In any case, I did swim today. I am also writing, and before I go to bed I will be reading. I have made that my triad. To swim, to read, to write. So, this will, in a sense, be a good day. But I have a lot of work to do, and the only thing remaining is to stay patient. 

I must be patient with myself and others. Today, while playing basketball, I found myself upset at my team for making mistakes, turning over the ball. To me, it was obvious that the other team was double-teaming and forcing our ball handler into tough decisions. Why did they not see that? My frustration mounted as we kept giving the other team the ball. Then, on the other side, we were making impossible passes across the court. But what I failed to realize, is that even if we win that game, ultimately I lose. By constantly correcting, and expecting adjustments, by constantly being right, I turn out to be wrong. Even when I’m right, I’m wrong. Because the goal of the game isn’t simply to win, but to have fun. And when I’m frustrated, its no longer fun. 

I keep saying to myself that I will take some time out of my day to meditate, but when exactly? In the morning, I am making my bed, getting ready for my day, and then time slips me by until it is noon o’clock. Then I get into a rhythm with other things and towards the end of the day I am trying to wrap things up in a hurry. I have to write. Then read. Then I’m too tired to meditate. Time is such a harsh mistress.

If my days were 36 hours long, how would I spend them? What if they were 18 hours long? Sometimes its nice to imagine what we would accomplish with more hours in a day. But if we had less, we would probably become better at prioritizing our day better. Because I distinctly remember that I watched Star Trek, the movie, today. And by the way, the movie sucks compared to the shows (the OST and TNG). Then I watched two episodes of Richard and Mortier. I ate pizza and cheesy bread. So, maybe I had time. I just didn’t prioritize. What the heck, man?

Ok. My writing is veering off. I’ll get up to do some real work and take out the trash. Maybe that should be my new mantra: “take out the trash.” 

“take out the trash”

“take out the trash” (ToTT)

T-Oh-Double-T

Tio Double T

Uncle DoubleT

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