no words

A feeling of no words, and while everything seems to be going well, I find myself losing my balance in some way. What could it be, when nothing is more important than another thing? Even the writing is sort of paced at incremental gains. 

Think of the game monopoly, the more players, the longer each turn lasts and the game quickly gets boring. No one advances, but once in a while someone gets lucky and another unlucky. 

I don’t know how to feel because I have so many books to read, so many songs to listen to, so many articles I’ve fallen behind on, so many emails waiting to be read, so many text messages and calls for attention, and I feel so lost. 

I haven’t wanted to work out in a couple of weeks. This always happens when I travel, when my routine gets shaken up, and I feel like I’m unable to make a good decision. Can I be trusted to make one good decision? 

The world is moving too fast, and yet it’s moving too slow. I can’t possibly connect with everyone. I need a system that works. 

The mental breakdowns in relationships. Pleas and cries for help, welp, I hope I could figure it out. Back then when I said I wasn’t ready, I’d considered the facts. But this time, I know it’s her, like she’s the one, but the doubts are my own. Am I some one she can rely on? This night will seem longer than other nights, but I should at least make my bed, and put my clothes away. How is it that you return from a trip and you don’t even unpack. 

It’s always like this one thing. If I drink more water, and disconnect for a few hours from the pc, the switch, just sit down and read. The panacea for my woes. But it ain’t so simple. No… no it isn’t. It will take some work. 

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