the difficulty of change with erratic systems

The weakness has crept in. At various stages of my life, I have felt more or less vulnerable to a collapse of the core in times of stress. Perhaps these are signs of a weak foundation, built on strong ideals but stressed too early. Concrete does not reach the strongest setting until a few days, maybe even longer, after it is poured. 

This is both the challenge and the opportunity. We have to keep moving and continue to make progress while ensuring that the changes we are making today will sustain us long into our tomorrow. 

Beginning with sleep, so hard to maintain. In a month, I make efforts to get maybe 5 nights of 8 hours of rest in a cool, darkened room, while practicing great sleep hygiene. But the fact is this, I have not committed to systematic change – shutting down all technology at 6pm, limiting caffeine intake after 3 pm, Until I can wholeheartedly commit to this behavior change, I will struggle to maintain a sleep schedule – bouncing haphazardly between restful and restless nights. 

Limiting, in fact, eliminating sugar. As I write this, I have a bag of peanut butter MMs beside me. I drank 3 soft drinks with 29 g of sugar. I have consumed zero fruit and vegetables. Sugar negatively influences our ability to control and regulate moods, but I am having trouble committing to living a life in which sugar plays no role – where the only liquids I consume are water, the only sugar comes in the form of berries and fruits, and my diet is relieved from the effects and bodily demands of sugar.

I write now for myself – keeping this as some sort of journal, but even in this area, I have lacked consistency. Today will be the third consecutive day that I post on this site, and maybe it can become a habit. But I must first create a system to support this habit – if I fail to do that, then I will fail in the long run. 

It is time to regain my composure and return to the pursuit of excellence.

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