memors

Evenings spent folding freshly washed shirts while I am thinking of you. Thinking how this pile of clothing reminds me of the occasions I spent there with you. 

We left early to beat the traffic and make the coffee stops at your shops, and tried all of the coffee spots until we found one that we’d like. 

Our life on the road like gypsy, a life on the go and limbo. Moving fast, but nowhere, moving fast with no cares. 

Ok, maybe a little, that the things we left behind would somehow catch us. That they would be a part of us, though we didn’t realize, like our shadows. Living in the shadows, its what we called it. Living in hiding, its what we called it.

But we were not hiding then, we’re not hiding now. We’re not asking why, we’re not asking how. It’s all understood, and I think that you know that the only way this is going is how it would go. 

Evenings spent scrubbing soap onto dishes while I am thinking of you. I don’t know where you are now, all of these calls go unanswered. I look up at the stars, and they don’t say a word back. I like to think that to some alien who is distant in time, what he sees is our life as we were, because light takes some time to travel there. And instead of seeing us now, he sees us together, and happy, with our hands interlocked. 

But what will he think when we’re distant and cold. This human race is so strange, they pretend all is well, when deep down there is a void uncontrolled, a sadness unconsoled. Grieving is hardest when you’re alone. Grieving is harder when you’re lonely. Where did you go? Why don’t you call? 

Somehow it all changed, this life that we made far from each other. I am sweeping the floors now, thinking of you. I wonder too, how often you think of me. This isn’t about the love we shared, it’s that at one point we both had cared. We both had dared, dared greatly too, how they tell us to do. 

We eat sour gummy worms, and the ants come for the little white crumbs. I wonder what that seems like to them, how can we eat so much of it at once, when all they can carry is one grain at a time. We eat a lifetimes worth of their food supply in a single chew. That’s how I feel sometimes when it comes to you, you made it cool and I feel lucky. I told my friends and they agreed, you know how things clicked at the beginning and they stayed firm and nice. Life is alright, you know. It’s quite alright. 

My favorite songs, I’ve shared them all. But they were favorite when they were only mine. Listening to Nights in the streets of Chelsea, MA. Its too late, my feet dangle from the swings, the park was long ago closed, but I climbed the fence to get in. Last time I went for a run out here, I cramped up and I had to stop for a moment. I’d like to go back and try again. 

When Kevyn and I went to the supermarket, I stared at the dragonfruit for a while. How would I eat that? I wonder why I had this thought, but it occurred to me that I do not know the answer. Would I peel it like an orange? Do I need a knife? Something sharp. 

The nice fruits require no thinking, that’s why I love berries; blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries. I like grapes two, the green and purples. 

Today, I ate two mangos. Those I peeled, but the mango gets caught in my teeth. 

The green t-shirt, the one I fold now, I wore that one when we went to Rouses’ to pick up crackers, salami, and cheese. Not a stain on it. But I can still remember the day. 

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