There is a spider living in my sink. I am of the conviction that this spider and I have come to some agreement, perhaps to live and let live. When I shaved in the morning, spider climbed the side of the sink bowl so as not to get splashed by the running water. I rinsed my blade with extra care not to wet spider and cause its death. The spider living in my sink, it hasn’t made webs or set up territory in any distinguishable way. But as I walked back around, there was spider.
I have to wonder if it is a he, or a she. Although part of me believes that this is most certainly a male spider. Men have weird habits, and this spider, seems to have some too. But what does he know, and what does he think, when he sees me towering above him, ready to turn on the faucet that spills danger by the metric ounce? Does he know that I have decided not to be the bearer of his death, as much as I could, or does he think that I may turn on him? How does one develop trust? Can spiders trust?
I don’t trust this spider. I have what is called arachnophobia, a technical term that describes an innate fear of his species. If we could talk to each other, I would mention how afraid I am, but also how curious. At times, after I am finished with brushing my teeth, I peer in closer to examine his features. He remains still, and sometimes crawls around the bowl, but he doesn’t move fast. The faster he moves, the more terrified I should become.
What I noticed first are the distinguishable features that help characterize him as a spider. Eight legs, those two little pincers, and a tiny body. I am sure I can get a more detailed microscopic view with a better lens, but this is all of the identifying information that I need. Then I return to my room.
I don’t think about the spider when I go back to my room to read or write. It barely crosses my mind. However, when I turn back to use the bathroom again, I wonder if he will still be there, waiting. I don’t presume he thinks too much about me, nor what I am up to when I am gone, but does he feel surprised when I come back? All of these questions to ask, have I made a spider friend?
One never thinks to make friends with an insect, but maybe a constant presence and frequent interactions is the beginning of friendship. In any case, hi Spider. Nice to meet you.